Real Life Stories

I lost my confidence when prostate trouble caused my urine loss. It wasn’t an easy time but my GP pointed me in the right direction.

My name is Steve. I’m 52 and consider myself pretty fit and healthy. About a year ago, I was diagnosed with Prostate Hyperplasia, a pretty common men’s disease that’s easily treated. My GP described it as 'routine surgery', so I didn’t even worry about it too much.

After the operation, everything was fine for a little while. Then one day as I was driving home from work, I felt something hot and wet in my lap - I had urine loss! I panicked and worried that maybe I was ill again.

I thought about telling my wife, Jill, but decided this was something I had to deal with on my own. Not a good idea. I soon became a different person around my family and colleagues - always disappearing or hiding because I was embarrassed.
Until one day Jill told me she knew what was happening. She reassured me about it and suggested I go back to my GP. She was obviously right. It was like a great weight had been lifted.

'You’re not alone', my doctor said. Turns out it’s quite common after prostate surgery. He told me incontinence pads would help manage it, but I kept thinking: ‘I’m going to have to wear a nappy!’.

The thing is, the good pads are invisible and safe. Yes, they felt a bit strange at first but once you've found the right one, you soon forget you’re wearing it. Best of all, I never had to worry about leakage or odour.

They are flexible, leakage-proof and fresh - odour control’s a must – and the feeling of security and control is great. No more skulking around, feeling embarrassed and living in denial. I feel so much more relaxed about everything and, although of course I wish I didn’t leak, I’m happy just getting on with life.

Even though I recently became a grandfather for the second time, I had never felt old for my age. Then, reality came crashing down one evening when I realised I had urine loss.

It was a real pain but I didn’t admit it at first, even to myself. ‘Just a temporary problem with the waterworks’ I thought or ‘must be the cold weather.’ But it didn’t go away, even when the weather got warmer.

Was this my body’s way of telling me I was getting old? My pride was hurt and I felt less of a man, somehow.

I even started using my wife’s sanitary pads, but they didn’t really work – and the odour persisted. I hadn’t even confided in my wife but she must have had her suspicions. I kept declining social invitations and I was always running for the bathroom.

Soon I began to feel anxious stepping out of the house. Perhaps it would have helped to speak to somebody, but who? And how could I raise such an issue?

Eventually, I decided I’d had enough and I became determined to regain control of my life. I researched and was surprised at how common the condition is.  It felt good to know I wasn’t alone.

The next step I took was visiting my GP. He reassured me that I could still lead a normal life. He recommended an odour controlled pad, made a few diet suggestions and told me about pelvic floor exercises.

I took his advice and am now starting to see results. I was such a fool to bottle it all up. One thing I learned from all this, is that there’s really no need for incontinence to take over your life.

Sheer embarrassment helped me overcome my denial.

Incontinent? No way! That only happens to old women and sick people. I had to be more patient, that was all. Denial? Isn’t that a river in Egypt?

I remember the first time it happened: a bathroom break during a boozy publisher’s lunch. Thought I’d given the old chap a decent enough shake and zipped up my trousers. Felt a cold wetness all down my leg. Nice.

A one-off, I thought. No panic. But it happened again… and again! I tried stuffing tissue down my pants, but it escaped from my trouser leg once at a taxi rank. Let’s not go there. I nearly didn’t. But still I wouldn’t accept it.

Until one day I was playing a board game with my daughter, Katie. We were laughing and enjoying ourselves. Then I felt something odd.

“What’s that smell?”,  Katie yelled. I felt so ashamed. After all, she’d just come out of diapers herself.

“The rabbit did it.” I said, improvising brilliantly. “Look – it’s run out into the garden!”

Off she went, while I rose up from the sofa to reveal a large, dark stain. I was done with denial. Well, except about the rabbit.

Hayley, my wife, was fine about it. Apparently our friends had a similar experience recently. I thought of Mark and Jenny sitting on our couch the previous week.

Hayley said I should call Mark, so I did. After what I’d been through, nothing could embarrass me now! He mentioned these pads designed especially for men. Mark told me they were proven to keep the smell and leakages under control.

I’ve worn one ever since - and you know what? Sometimes I forget it’s there.  Shame I can’t say the same about Katie’s new rabbit.