What you can do about incontinence

Of course it can be embarrassing for your loved one to lose control and have accidents but it shouldn’t lead them to withdraw from social contact and activities, unnecessarily reducing their enjoyment of life. Talking with them about their situation, in an honest yet understanding way, will help them realise that incontinence doesn’t have to radically change their life and, with the right products and lifestyle tips, they can carry on enjoying their normal social activities without fear of embarrassment.

If your loved one has a mental condition such as dementia or nerve damage which prevents them from recognising the need to visit the toilet, it can be quite distressing for them when they have accidents. It helps to de-dramatise the situation if you can make sure any accident is dealt with quickly, calmly and with respect to their personal dignity.

Reassure them that they are not the only person with incontinence

Incontinence is actually very common. In fact, 1 in 4 women and 1 in 10 men experience it at some point in their lives. For women this makes it as common as hay fever. There are many causes; it is just one of those physical things that happen to some people both young and old.

Create the right environment for you both

This will vary according to physical need. If you are helping your loved one to the bathroom perhaps with a wheel chair, ensure the route to the bathroom is unobstructed. They may also prefer clothing that is easy for you or them to remove, such as wide skirts and drawstring trousers. Keep a lidded bin in the bathroom or bedroom to dispose of used products. 

Work it out together

If your loved one has recently become fully or partially physically disabled, they (and you), will be having to get used to help with all sorts of basic tasks such as feeding, bathing and going to the toilet. And it’s the intimacy of the ‘toilet bit’ that you and your loved one might find most awkward at first, particularly if you are both just learning the ropes of what makes a comfortable ‘toilet’ experience. So, work together on a plan, listen to each other’s suggestions and worries and you’ll soon work out a routine that suits you both and any embarrassment will quickly disappear.

Establish a routine for you and your loved one

People with poor memory skills or impaired mental health tend to feel much safer if they have an established routine and this can help reduce accidents for those who do manage to go to the toilet themselves from time to time. So it is worth establishing a routine in terms of meal times, visits to the toilet, rests and leisure activities such as a walk or TV watching. You should also build in time out for yourself where your loved one gets used to time when they are on their own, if they can be, or with another carer from time to time. Even if the person you care for does very little all day, a fixed routine may help reduce accidents. For other useful tips that can make caring for your loved one easier go to the Share your Experience

Provide good incontinence protection

The right incontinence protection will help ensure leaks are absorbed and faeces and odour are contained helping to protect your loved one’s clothes, their living environment and their dignity. Incontinence protection comes in range of sizes and absorbencies for men and women. Many people find that protection that pulls up like ordinary underwear is more acceptable to people who are able to stand up whilst being changed, but if your loved one needs to be changed lying down, there are products which help make the changing process easier for both of you. TENA Flex has been specifically designed to make changing people confined to their beds quicker and less strenuous on the back of the carer. Visit Product Information for more information on this and other incontinence products.

Changing and hygiene

Your loved one may be alert to accidents once they have happened and be able to change themselves or you may need to offer a helping hand. Either way ensure fresh protective products are within easy reach in the toilet and that you have a lidded disposal bin for used products. Pant products that tear at the sides help make changing quick and clean and wet wipes can prove easier and gentler on the skin than standard toilet paper. If your loved one needs to be changed lying down, there are products which help make the changing process easier. TENA Flex  has been specifically designed to make changing people confined to their beds quicker and less strenuous on the back of the carer. If your loved one experiences faecal incontinence, TENA Duo might be of use. Visit Product Information for more information on this and other incontinence products.

Skin care

Urine can irritate the skin, which in the case of the elderly, can be particularly sensitive. Protective products with high absorbency and that quickly draw urine away from the skin even when the person is seated or lying down for long periods, will help reduce the risk of skin irritation. If you are worried about your loved one’s skin sensitivity TENA Flex and TENA Pants are designed with 100% breathability to reduce the risk of skin irritations.

Fluid intake

Your loved one may be tempted to drink less, but this can make the urine more concentrated, aggravating the bladder and making it more active. Encourage them to drink as normal responding to their natural thirst. This should be enough to keep the urine a healthy, pale straw colour. As you might expect, drinking too much will just increase the urge to "go" so just try and keep a healthy balance.

Fibre intake

Interestingly constipation can mean that the bowel is placing pressure on the bladder causing problems with being able to hold more urine and additonally to hold onto it.  Sometimes increasing fibre and fluids will improve the constipation and also the need to urinate regularly.

Additionally constipation can be the cause of faecal incontinence, faecal impaction caused by constipation can lead to faecal oozing.  Fixing the constipation may fix the faecal incontinence.    A specialist continence advisor will be able to provide you with a more personalised plan.  

Be aware that some drinks have a diuretic effect

Of course you don’t want to curb your loved one’s pleasures but be aware that caffeine, alcohol and fizzy drinks are diuretics which will make them need to visit the toilet more.

Out and about

Make sure they have a spare product and plastic bag for the disposal of a used product in their bag or coat pocket. Arrange for a seat near the toilet on trains and planes and ensure car or coach drivers plan regular toilet stops on long journeys.

Pelvic Floor Exercises

If your loved one has Stress Incontinence they may want to see if they can improve control with pelvic floor exercises. This kind of physiotherapy is generally regarded as the first treatment for Stress Incontinence. Up to 70% of mild to moderate cases can be improved or even cured by regular and correct pelvic floor exercises over 3 to 6 months but remember, they will have to keep up the exercises to make the effects last. These exercises work by re-establishing control over the muscles that keep the urethra shut. It’s never too late to start – even in people in their 70s and 80s have improved their symptoms.

A specialist may recommend techniques such as Biofeedback and electrical stimulation to help carry out these exercises properly.

Medical Devices

Where physiotherapy is not the answer, there are certain other options the doctor may consider. The insertion of a catheter with a portable drainage bag may be a temporary measure, particularly if incontinence is the result of other surgery.

The most commonly used medical devices are absorbent incontinence products.
There are protective products for light and heavy incontinence for men and women and they come in a range of sizes and absorbency levels and different types to suit different preferences and lifestyles. They are also available with odour neutralisers so your loved one needn’t worry about tell-tale odours or damp patches when friends visit or they are invited out.

Drugs and surgery

In some countries there are certain prescription drugs used for the treatment of Stress Incontinence and in some cases your urologist or urogynaecologist may consider surgical procedures. For details on these it is best to consult a continence specialist or urologist.